Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day to all the mamas, grandmas, Godmamas, step-mamas, foster mothers, mother figures, to each and every kind of mom! And extra love to those who want to be mamas but aren't for whatever reason.
This year's Mother's Day was far better than last year's, when we had just lost a baby 2 days before and I couldn't focus on much else. It was hard and it hurt and nothing made any sense. May was a really dark time, and I have to pray for anyone else going through that, especially this time of year.
But today, my wonderful hubby and beautiful Stenni brought me out for bagels at my absolute favorite bagel store, then out for anything I wanted at the farmer's market. We got some bread, pickles, apples and cheese, and ate ina picnic-style lunch in front of the TV while watching Moneyball and later, the Blue Jays game. Then we went to visit my mom, hubs' mom, and my grandma. Hubs and Stenni made me a new (and water- and food-proof) version of the cookbook I've been using for oh so many years. It was really no more than a folder with a bunch of pieces of food-stained paper inside, but they turned it into an organized, illustrated masterpiece that I love!
All in all, it was a good day.
I hope that everyone else had such an enjoyable Mother's Day!

according to bing, today is...

Twilight Zone day! Which, to be honest, I didn't even know existed, despite being a huge fan of the original TV series. Plus, it's totally apropos considering yesterday's post topic.

I can't pick a favorite episode, but I particularly like "Third from the Sun" and "The Howling Man" and want to punch the little kid from "It's a Good Life" hard in the face before he can send me away into the cornfield. The show is alternately brilliant, tragic, hilarious, nostalgic, and prescient, and always chock full of wonderful stories (and story-telling). I love the show for so many reasons, but at least partly because I find it upsetting that it's no longer socially acceptable to calm someone down by slapping them (which along with a cocktail was apparently like, the Xanax of the early 1960's).

Are you a fan? What's your favorite episode? And are you celebrating this little known holiday?

You cannot tell me that this does not seem like an episode of the Twilight Zone

78,000 to live on Mars: Have you signed up?

Sooooo this article pretty much speaks for itself but apparently several thousand people have signed up to potentially be picked to colonize Mars (which I believe is probably a good thing, as Stephen Hawking recently advised colonization of other planets so we've got somewhere to go when we ruin ours, and like, he's pretty smart). But how have they actually signed up for this noble and important scientific project? Through a non-profit which plans to film a reality show about the trip. And only 4 people will make it. And they won't be able to come back. And seriously, they have to be in a reality show.

I'm sorry, but this all sounds like the set-up to an episode of The Twilight Zone to me. I always think that in the 1960s they imagined that so much more was possible, especially in regards to space travel, than we've actually been able to actually manifest. It's a shame. Big portions of money that could be spent on scientific experiments and space exploration are wasted on the stupidest things, and no one seems to understand that these were the things that used to make America great. We wanted more than we could ever see, or even imagine. Now where is that adventurous spirit? We're lucky that we've got rich wackos like Rickard Branson and that dude from N'Sync to carry it on, at least in part. And you know what they say (at least they said it on Mad Men this week), "everybody loves an astronaut." But not so much anymore, I suppose. People would rather de-fund NASA cut defense spending even a tiny bit (the US does spend more than the next dozen or so countries combined on this one thing, which is obviously important but come on.) Science fiction writers used to be on the forefront of actual science, because they could imagine things that were later found to be possible (despite the "fictional" origins of their ideas). Now I don't know if fewer people have the imagination to dream these things up, or perhaps we're just less ambitious? Maybe our priorities are just out of whack. 

I just feel like we should be so much further than this, have discovered so much more by now, but it's almost as if we don't even have the chance anymore without some gimmick attached (often, unfortunately, for funding purposes). I know that there are people who don't believe in science. I think it's crazy, but I know that they exist. Climate change deniers, people who think the Earth was made like 4000 years ago and that dinosaurs and man existed together, people who say that there is no life in space despite clear evidence to the contrary, these are all people who actually walk among us, who are given voice in our society. Do I think that they are detrimental to society as a whole? Oh, most definitely. But honestly, we can't silence them. They have rights. They have the right to ignore science and factual information. But without them, we as a country would be a whole lot further, and we maybe wouldn't have to do it with the spectre of reality TV as a source of funding for a significant scientific event. And I shudder to think how this show will end.

Papa Playgroups: An Idea that Shouldn't Only Be for Hipsters

So, my husband really has only one dad-friend. There are only a handful of people our age and/or in our social circle who have children, and even fewer with kids Stenni's age. Even then, most of those dads are less than super-involved with their kiddos, except for the ones with very little babies. It's sad, I know, but it's life. Even friends of mine are surprised when the hubs takes Stenni out on what they call "ballerina dates" (they both get dressed up and go wherever she wants, usually every Wednesday night) or puts her to bed by himself or does anything else that I think a reasonable partner should be expected to do, at least occasionally.
So in an attempt to make a few new man-friends with kids, we started looking into finding a "dads group" for playdates. Guess what we found? If you guessed nothing, you're only half right. We found a ton of moms groups within a 20-minute or so drive, but not a single dads group. Not one. Then when we looked a little further away (closer to NYC/Hoboken area) there were a few...for stay-at-home dads only, held during the day. So an employed dad who wants to spend some extra time with his kids has very few opportunities to do so in that kind of setting, unfortunately. I find this kind of ridiculous, because there are working moms playgroups for women who work all day, groups only for stay-at-home moms, and groups for stay-at-home dads...but what about for the work-a-day breadwinning father? I know that they are a rarer breed in this day and age (rarer still are the ones who want to spend their precious free minutes with a group of other dads and kiddos), but come on! We didn't even find a single "parents group" either...most were moms only and a few were dads only. I'm not a moms group kind of gal...I've tried a few, and they're just not my bag, for whatever reason. I don't like to socialize based entirely on my kid, and I have very little else in common with most of the other moms I've met in these groups. But for my husband I think it could be different. In a dads group, a man already has more in common with the other men in the group, namely that he's the type to take a serious interest in his kids' lives. The dad groups we did find, too, were of the super-hipster variety, who want to crucify people for "unapproved" life choices (think those types who only eat vegan and organic, who only wear organic cotton and drink fair-trade coffee, you know who I mean...we try to be conscious but come on!). Like Brooklyn on steroids type dads, who scoff at competition amongst the kids, chafe at hubs' traditional job and schedule, and are aghast at the idea that I stay at home instead of striving for equality in the public sphere. A playgroup should be fun and social, not a platform for pushing (or needing to defend) life choices.  
Anyway, because of this hubs is thinking about starting a dads group in our area, but with everything else that he has on his plate, who knows? I kind of hope that it happens, as he could totally use some more male socialization outside of work (since he works at a women's prison and we have a toddler girl, he's always telling me that he's tired of dealing with misbehaved women all day!), and that way I'll have to trek to the park a bit less. Any suggestions?

The Summer of 100 Books

For the past few months, Stenni has been asking me to read her 5 books every time she goes on the potty. This used to be more doable, as she read shorter books and spent more minutes on the potty each sitting...and she didn't count all the books, so sometimes I could fudge it.  Now that potty training is in the home stretch (meaning that she usually just gets on the potty to do her business, and that's it), we have less quality reading time than we used to. I'm happy not to have to sit in front of her on the bathroom floor for half an hour at a time, but I need to find a new way to incorporate more reading into our everyday routine again. Therefore we are declaring this summer:

The Summer of 100 Books!

Between May 28th (the day after Memorial Day) and September 1st (the day before Labor day) there are 97 days, including all holidays and weekends. That means that all we have to do to meet this totally attainable goal is read a book a day, with 3 extra thrown in there for good measure as time allows. Here's the catch: I'm only counting each book once, which means that as many times as I read I Love You, Stinky Face or Put Me in the Zoo, they count only once towards the 100 book goal. And at the end of the summer we will be making our own book based on our summer experiences, since we'll have a whole new appreciation of books and reading! Plus, I'll report all of the books to you in order to keep us fully accountable!

This is all in conjunction with our very experimental home-preschooling, and will be tied into summer experiences and trips (we will read about the beach in preparation for our trip to the shore, for example, and read about gardening while tending to our garden). I'm hoping that this will help us in our goal, which is to move towards some very basic independent reading within in next year or so (really, everything we do at home is working towards that end, and it might sound lofty, but reading is something we really love in this house). Stenni is already identifying each letter of the alphabet and the sounds that they make, and can sight-read some words like her name, mama and papa, and a few others. Our attempts to write, trace, or copy letters so far have not worked out as well as I'd like, but I figure we'll chock that up to needing some more work on small motor skills, and the fact that she's 2 1/2, so I'm not going to totally push it too hard just yet. There's always more time. 

Anyone out there want to take the "Summer of 100 Books" challenge with us? Comment, and we'll synchronize our efforts! Here's to a fruitful summer!

One of those days...

Today is just one of those days where I have to ask myself, why is it not a valid life choice to sit around watching 30 Rock and eating Handi-Snacks all day? I can handle all that. It's about on my level.
Is it better for me to take a baby step up and make myself a microwave lunch and research graphic novels on the internet without putting them on hold at the library, knowing that although I want to read them I'll totally forget about them later (I'm looking at you, The Tragical Comedy or Comical Tragedy of Mr. Punch by Neil Gaiman)? No, probably not.
So how is it that I will get myself together and win my battle against the pile of dishes from last night's dinner?
How am I going to get down to the basement and finish the never-ending pile of laundry?
How will I get the floors cleaned and the dog walked and dinner made and the bedroom picked up and the desk straightened up and the baby's room spring cleaned and my seasonal clothes put away?
The truth is, I probably won't do half of it.
And that's my secret. 
If I get the dishes done, the beds made, the floor swept and the dog walked, that's enough for me (some days). Everything else? It can wait. As long as I keep up on the big stuff in the main part of the house, as long as the kitchen table and counters stay pretty clear and the clutter is kept under control and the bathroom is clean, and as long as we all have clean-ish clothes and we aren't starving, I can have my slacking days when I just don't feel like I can do much else. (Like I can have my Handi-Snack days as long as I mostly keep up on my exercise regimen. No need to be extreme.)
Listen, there's no such thing as superwoman, except in the comic books. I certainly don't consider myself super-anything (except maybe super-awesome). So some days, I just need to give myself the license not to try to be her.
As long as it doesn't turn into everyday, it's necessary and healthy to give the routine a rest once in a while. It won't hurt anything in the long run, and these chances to slack off honestly don't come around often. So I'm taking this opportunity to chill out.

Sometimes, there's just nothing to say

I was prepared to do a big post today on Shakespeare, it being his birthday and all. I was going to let you figure out which Shakesperean character you might be (incidentally, I ended up as Rosalind from As You Like It) with a cool PBS quiz. I had quite a bit that I wanted to talk to you about, actually. But all that changed earlier today.

A little boy lost his long battle with brain cancer. He was the cousin of a cousin. His name was Joey, and he was three years old. His little sister was born just two days ago. He was sweet and adorable, with chubby little cheeks even when he was too sick to do much of anything. His family needs all the prayers that you can spare right now.

I don't know what else to say. My little girl is only a year younger than Joey. I remember seeing them together at Christmas Eve two years ago, before any of this. All I could do after I found out today was let Stenni have all the gummi bears that she asked for and hug her tight whenever she'd let me. I didn't know what else to do. Our families weren't particularly close, but something like this hits you where it hurts no matter what. We all hoped for a miracle, but at least Joey isn't suffering anymore.

If you pray, please do keep Joey's family in your prayers.